In what ABC executives are calling “the boldest network decision since canceling ALF,” The View has officially been tossed into the dustbin of television history. In its place, the network announced the launch of The Charlie Kirk Show, hosted by Kirk’s widow Erika Kirk and media veteran Megyn Kelly.
The announcement, delivered via a curt three-word press release — “It’s done. Finally.” — was widely celebrated in conservative circles and mourned in liberal ones. Meanwhile, the rest of America reacted with its usual shrug, muttering, “Wait, The View was still on?”
Farewell to the Henhouse
For 27 years, The View served as America’s loudest coffee klatch, where five women shouted over one another about everything from presidential politics to whether pineapple belongs on pizza.
But after Whoopi Goldberg’s recent “Angel-gate” remark about the late Charlie Kirk — and the subsequent public meltdown that followed — ABC’s top brass decided they’d had enough.
“It wasn’t even the remark itself,” admitted one executive. “It was the sighing. Whoopi’s sighs were louder than the microphones. Frankly, the nation deserves relief.”
The network reportedly considered replacing the show with reruns of Judge Judy or even static snow, but eventually settled on a patriotic talk show that “would make Charlie proud and advertisers happy.”
The Charlie Kirk Show: Daytime’s New Patriotic Powerhouse
Debuting this week, The Charlie Kirk Show aims to provide viewers with what ABC calls “less squawking, more saluting.” Hosted by Erika Kirk and Megyn Kelly, the program blends conservative commentary, lifestyle advice, and just enough God-and-country theatrics to keep the flag market booming.
The premiere episode opened with Erika Kirk standing solemnly beside a six-foot portrait of her late husband, while Megyn Kelly strutted onto the stage in a red power suit that could double as a fire alarm.
“Charlie dreamed of a show where people could actually finish a sentence without Joy Behar interrupting,” Erika said tearfully. “And today, that dream is real.”
Megyn Kelly added: “Daytime TV has been too soft, too liberal, and frankly, too screechy. We’re here to restore order. Think of this as The View, but without the cackling — and with better lighting.”
