For ten years, Danny Wakefield has been fighting for the LGBT cause, and this time in an even more potent way: as a man giving birth.
The power of bringing a life into the world is difficult to explain in words, but the photographic records of the time of birth have been a beautiful way of taking us to that moment. So it was with the journey of American influencer Danny Wakefield, a trans man who gave birth to his daughter Wilder Lea last Saturday (28), after ten hours of labor.
In a sequence of six emotional photos, Danny appears sitting in a pool indoors, using all his strength so that the little one could come into the world through a normal delivery. And, in the last click, we finally see the big moment. She appears lying on her chest, while her father cannot contain the emotion of holding her in his arms for the first time.
“This is the moment my Wilder met the world. This little one came so fast after I started pushing that my [vaginal] labia were split, plus I needed five internal stitches. Until they heal I have four lips and I’ve never felt so tough from my battle wounds in my entire life.”
Before the images of the birth itself, Danny also shared a video in which he appears to be pushing for the last time so that his daughter could be born. The moment also draws attention to having her mother on one side of the pool, holding her hand and wearing a protective mask against the coronavirus – an extremely necessary item for anyone accompanying the birth at this time of the pandemic.
And for those who wanted to see the little girl’s expression up close, Danny shared an emotional photo of her daughter lying on her chest, in skin-to-skin contact, right after birth. “All of you were telling me the truth, this is the most amazing moment of my life,” declared the father.
Even before the birth of his daughter, Danny had been doing important work for ten years on the internet to raise awareness of respect for the trans body. But with her growing belly during pregnancy, that struggle has transposed to make people take a kinder look at what it’s like to be a fat parent.
Thus, in his last publication, still in development, he made a profound report on the subject. “This baby is still baking, but it’s okay. I look down at my belly, and I have never seen such beauty in my body. Pregnancy gave me permission to love him on a level my soul feels,” wrote the influencer.
“At first, I was feeling really insecure about how big my body was getting during this pregnancy. I remember a few months ago unexpectedly getting weighed at an emergency room visit and immediately feeling shame. I felt shame that my body had already put on an extra 70 pounds. I felt shame that the number looking back at me caused me to momentarily dislike everything about my body. But, as @brenebrown says, silence is a Petri dish for growing shame so I talked about it,” continued Danny.
“I sat with my shame without trying to silence it. I held it as I would my very own newborn, and slowly that shame dissolved. My body is big and beautiful, no matter what number is looking back at me”, emphasized the influencer. He also said that, three years ago, he received constant praise for being thin. But what people didn’t know is that he was deeply addicted to meth and sicker than ever.
Thus, Danny’s request is also that of many other fat people, whose bodies appear in public for other people’s unsolicited guesses. “Please stop commenting on other people’s bodies. You never know what someone else is going through or how close to death they really are, regardless of how “good” they might look,” she emphasized.
The influencer also left a message for those who follow him and face some kind of addiction: “If you’re struggling with addiction right now, I see you. You are worthy of life and recovery. We do recover, and when we do, our greatest dreams come true.”
