IT’S the self-styled “biggest night in film” . . . but Hollywood’s biggest star decided that he’d rather be anywhere else.

So much so, that while a lorryload of luvvies shared hearty congratulations for films most of us have never seen, I can reveal Tom Cruise opted to spend the evening in an igloo in the Arctic Circle.

Our mock up of Tom Cruise in his igloo in the Arctic Circle

Tom’s epic blockbuster Top Gun 2 raked in more than £1.5billion at the box officeCredit: AP

And you can hardly blame him.

He probably got a warmer reception up there than he would have at the Dolby Theatre — where Top Gun 2 was bewilderingly overlooked for a host of arty offerings.

This despite “saving cinema” . . . not my words, but Steven Spielberg, and he knows a thing or two about the big screen.

Tom’s epic blockbuster raked in more than £1.5billion at the box office.

It was a sum that has sustained the careers of thousands of movie makers post Covid, and funded countless projects beloved by the snooty brigade but watched by handfuls.

Sure, Everything Everywhere All At Once enjoyed mid-ranking commercial success, and good reviews, but it was hardly the cinematic event of the year — and surely that’s what Best Picture should be all about?

The winner’s of the Oscars 2023

The Academy is saying, “This is the “Best Movie of the Year, folks”… just think about that for a moment. Exactly.

But Tom, as usual, saw it coming.

With the sort of lightning reactions Maverick relies on to dodge bandits at supersonic speed, the action hero rapidly made a detour to get out of harm’s way in Hollywood.

Last Friday I’m told he had the chance to jump on a private jet from Italy back to Tinseltown to be in situ for the big night, where his film was nominated for six gongs despite him being predictably overlooked in the Best Actor category – but wisely swerved it.

Instead he flew from Bari to Svalbard, 500 miles south of the North Pole, where he and director Chris McQuarrie are continuing to shoot scenes for Mission Impossible’s eighth instalment – which will no doubt be spectacular.

As one insider tells me: “Tom just knows how these things play out – he’d rather get on with doing what he does best and making amazing movies that millions want to go and see that sit in an audience clapping and smiling for the cameras.

“He’s seen it all before.”

On the night, Top Gun won just one accolade, for Best Sound, out of its six nominations – which included Best Visual Effects and Best Cinematography – leading to astonishment among crewmembers and industry insiders alike.

As one put it: “Can anyone seriously say that film wasn’t the most impressive visual event in cinema last year? They created real life dog fights with fighter jets, what the hell do people want?”

Everything Everywhere All At Once dominated the event with seven gongs in total – blindsiding many other favourites along the way.

You can’t help feeling “the biggest night in movies” might feel that little bit bigger if the organisers let the rest of us come along for the ride…

Michelle Yeoh with her Oscar for Best Actress for Everything Everywhere All At OnceCredit: EPA

Jamie Lee Curtis won Best Supporting Actress for her role in the sci-fi flickCredit: Getty

Jamie Lee Curtis and Michelle Yeoh in Everything Everywhere All At OnceCredit: Supplied by LMKMEDIAInisherin not in the gongs

BRITISH and Irish stars lost out on the night — despite having high hopes of success.

There were 14 nominations for Irish talent including nine for The Banshees of Inisherin.

James Martin became the first person with Down’s ­syndrome to win an OscarCredit: EPA

But the film did not win in any of its categories.

English stars Bill Nighy and Andrea Riseborough failed to ­triumph on the night — as did Irishmen Paul Mescal and Colin Farrell who were both against Bill in the Best Actor category.

However, Northern Irish film An Irish Goodbye won Best Live Action Short.

One of its stars, James Martin, became the first person with Down’s ­syndrome to win an Oscar. James, who said he wanted to bring the award back to his drama group in Belfast, said: “It doesn’t matter if you have Down’s syndrome, as long as you’re doing what you do.

“I do what I can to be funny.”

British cinematographer James Friend and sound engineers Chris Burdon and Mark Taylor picked up Oscars in technical awards.

NO LOVE, ACTUALLY

HUGH GRANT didn’t win an Oscar this weekend… as he’s never been nominated.

And his excruciating two-minute exchange on the red carpet with bubbly TV host, model Ashley Graham, shows why.

Hugh Grant’s never been nominated for an OscarCredit: Pixel8000

Hugh’s terse, snappy replies revealed his acting is so limited he can’t even stretch to “polite bystander number two.”

HARRISON Ford reunited with Ke Huy Quan, on stage to congratulate him on his win — 39 years after they starred opposite each other in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

Ke, 51, was named Best Supporting Actor for Everything Everywhere All At Once.

Harrison Ford reunited with Ke Huy Quan 39 years on from Indiana Jones and the Temple of DoomCredit: Reuters

He had his first acting role in the 1984 action film as Short Round, an orphan who becomes Indiana’s driver.

Harrison, 80, presented the Best Picture prize at the ceremony which led to the emotional reunion.